Don’t join the Poo-Tang Clan

Out of deference to my international readership (one guy working with a medevac unit in Kabul), I generally try to avoid writing about Aspen-centric topics, preferring instead to focus on national and global subjects. This week, however, a couple of articles in the local papers and a visit to a park in town got me riled up enough that I’ve decided to tackle two issues of concern to residents of the Roaring Fork Valley.

The first article was one that seems to appear in some form or other nearly every day this time of year. It concerned the proliferation of dog waste on Smuggler Mountain Road, a popular hiking route in Aspen. Continue reading »

Just deserts please, no coffee

Boy, there’s stupid, and then there’s O.J. Simpson stupid, isn’t there? In a world full of numbskulls, the Juice is a hall-of-famer. To put it in running-back terms, if stupidity were measured in rushing yards, and 1,000 yards was a good season, O.J. just ran for the 2,003 he chalked up in 14 games in 1973, back in his previous life.

(For the record, Simpson’s mark is not the best all-time anymore. Four other men have outrushed him since the NFL went to a 16-game season. I take that to mean there may be a handful of people out there dumber than O.J. — suicide bombers come to mind — but they can’t touch his stupid-per-game average. Yes, I realize that doesn’t make any sense. Just go with it.) Continue reading »