Everyone tastes the same to a mako shark

Greetings, friends. As many of you know, we here at “I’m With Stupid” don’t usually like to toot our own horns, despite the profound positive impact we make on the world each and every week, but this week we’re going to engage in a little self-congratulations because, by golly, we think we’ve earned it.

Some of you may recall a column from November 2009 wherein we brought you the inspiring story of a bear in India’s Kashmir region that single-handedly killed two heavily armed Muslim separatists and wounded two others. You remember that, don’t you? No? None of you? Well, we wrote it, trust us. Continue reading »

Gun control starts with using two hands

I have a few friends — their names and occupations don’t matter — who’ve basically decided that the people in the Middle East are irredeemable savages. And I think, sadly, that they’re expressing the opinion of lots of other silent Americans who are afraid to give voice to such a politically incorrect statement.

I don’t really agree with my friends. I’m still willing to believe that the vast majority of Middle Easterners are decent, hard-working folk who are just trying to eke out a living and raise their families in peace. Continue reading »

Congratulations! You may now shave the bride

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be nice to tell a heartwarming story about a fairy-tale wedding where the bride and groom meet, fall in love, say their vows and live happily ever after. The kind of wedding Disney wants you to believe happens all the time. Unfortunately, though, as life isn’t a Disney movie, you will get no such heartwarming story.

Instead, you will get the story of a young Arab couple — let’s call them Abdul and Fatima — whose own marriage fell just short of the Disney standard. Continue reading »

Persian? Arabian? Let’s call the whole thing off

As a sports fan, one of the things that has always appealed to me the most about the games we play is the unifying nature of team sports. Seeing athletes of different nationalities and fans from all walks of life coming together as one to achieve a common goal is the sort of thing that warms the cockles of my heart.

There’s nothing better, in my opinion, than watching a Japanese pitcher make a Puerto Rican batter hit a grounder to a Venezuelan third baseman, Continue reading »