With this cow, I thee wed

Shortly before my wife and I started living together, I decided, like some ill-advised Buddhist, to simplify my life, so I got rid of everything that wouldn’t fit in my car, including my job and my apartment. Thus, when we finally tied the knot about a year later, the sum total of what I brought to the marriage amounted to a fork, a spoon, a steak knife, a can opener and two Pyrex bowls. Amazingly, saint that she is, my wife was still happy to have me, or at least she pretended she was. Continue reading »

Mammary almond crunch

Let me preface this column by saying I have no problem with PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, nor do I have any problems with vegetarians in general, as long as they grant the rest of us the right to eat meat.

Whether we buy it at a store or hunt or fish for it legally we should be allowed to eat it without being given the Lisa Simpson guilt trip about our choice. Beyond that, all animals should be treated as ethically as possible. I absolutely agree. Continue reading »