I think we can all agree that there are plenty of world records that it would be cool to own. For example, I bet Usain Bolt is pretty psyched about being the world’s fastest man, with a time of 9.69 seconds in the 100-meter dash, and Pink Floyd is presumably happy that “Dark Side of the Moon” spent 591 consecutive weeks on the Billboard charts. Those are real accomplishments, things any of us would rightly be proud to say we did.

Likewise, there are also tons of world records that I’m sure nobody would want to claim as their own. A Pakistani man named Wazir Muhammand once had a kidney stone that weighed 21.87 ounces, and an American named Wesley Pemberton had leg hair that measured 6.5 inches long. While I imagine that neither man is particularly ashamed of their record, I’m guessing they would rather be known for something else.

Then, of course, there are world records that are just plain stupid. An exceptionally bored man from Santa Barbara named Matt McAllister once wore 155 T-shirts at the same time to secure his personal claim to fame, and in October 2008, a crowd of 881 people in Austin, Texas, did a synchronized dance to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” to out-nerd a group of Filipino prisoners who started the annoying “Thrill the World” movement a couple of years ago.

I think, though, that we may have encountered the dorkiest world record in history earlier this week. On Wednesday it was reported that two friends from Pennsylvania, Nick Andes and Doug Klinger, spent the month of March sending each other 217,000 text messages, easily shattering the previous record of 182,000 texts sent in a month in 2005 by Deepak Sharma of India.

In case you were wondering, Andes’ and Klinger’s feat would work out to 7,000 texts per day, nearly 292 texts per hour, and roughly five texts per minute if the two men never slept. Assuming they did sleep at some point during the month, it’s probably safe to say they spent every waking minute texting each other.

Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m anti-gay or anything. I honestly couldn’t care less who other people want to have sex with. But 217,000 text messages would be unseemly if the people doing the texting were an eighth-grade boy and girl experiencing their first crushes. The fact that Andes and Klinger are 29 and 30, respectively, and both are men makes their month-long text fest downright creepy. I’ve had lots of male friends over the years, but none that I’ve wanted to be that close to.

I suppose we could give the two men a pass on their little bromance by accepting that they’re not that sharpest tools in the shed and may not have been aware of how disturbing their texting might seem to the world at large, based on comments they made to the media after the fact.

Andes was quoted as saying, “It’s really not all as much fun as it sounds.” Excuse me? To whom would exchanging 217,000 text messages in a month seem fun? Well, other than Deepak Sharma, of course. And Klinger said, “It was all legitimate words and stuff,” citing as examples “hahaha” and “lol,” both of which are apparently legitimate words in his universe.

The larger problem with this text-messaging barrage, however, is what it says about where we are headed as a society. When I was young, if you saw someone walking down the street talking to themselves, you pretty much just assumed they were crazy. Nowadays, if you see someone walking down the street and they’re not talking to themselves, you just assume they have no friends or can’t afford a cell phone.

Before long this same logic will apply to texters as well. We’re becoming so proficient at texting that it’s only a matter of time before people start sending texts without taking the phone out of their pockets, and it will become acceptable to walk down the street jangling your hand around in your pocket. Once upon a time, this was a sure sign that you were a pervert.

Thankfully, there is an upside to this new trend: Soon someone like me will be able to walk down the street jangling my hand around in my pocket without fear of being labeled a pervert. Maybe someday I’ll even bring my cell phone with me when I do.