Parents, beware! There is a new scourge threatening the health of your children, and while it may seem harmless enough now, there’s no telling how dangerous things could get.
Ask yourself these questions about your child: Does he or she have a pair of headphones? Does he or she have access to the Internet? Does he or she have about $17 to spend? If you answered yes to any or all of the above, there is a good chance your child is already addicted to digital drugs. Read More
I always wondered why they call them the “dog days” of summer, particularly back when I didn’t have a dog. If it has something to do with lying around being lazy and hot, I defy you to find a dog who’s been doing more lying around panting and sweating in the heat than me. You couldn’t do it, because dogs can’t even sweat. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry for them because they breathe harder in July?
I do, though, finally have my own definition of the dog days of summer, based on two events in the last week that reminded me of why I’ve always considered dogs the one true sign that God might actually love us. Read More
I had an interesting Fourth of July this year and learned a valuable lesson in what it means to be American. Not that I was looking to be taught a lesson, mind you. Things just sort of turned out that way, as you will see.
I spent the weekend with my wife and son in the tiny hamlet of Lake City, Colo., a place so small and remote that most Coloradans are unaware of its existence. Somehow, though, thousands of Texans know about the place and flock there each summer, driving Lake City’s population, which is normally 375 or so, up to what seemed like about 5,000. Read More
Last week, we here at I’m With Stupid brought you the disturbing tale of Ardi Rizal, a 2-year-old Indonesian boy who smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. Forty cigarettes every day is a few too many for a toddler, to be sure, but Ardi’s bigger problem was that he didn’t look fabulous while smoking them. He wore a trashy tank top and a leather jacket that looked like he swiped it from the set of a “Grease” revival. Worst of all, though, he was wearing plain, boring diapers.
Sadly, poor Ardi may be stuck with his tank top and jacket, as his parents likely can’t afford both cigarettes and new clothes for their boy, Read More
So have you seen the video of the Indonesian 2-year-old who supposedly smokes two packs of cigarettes a day? If you haven’t, you should check it out on YouTube, as nearly a million other viewers already have. It’s freaking hilarious, in a perverse “wow, that kid is going to die of lung cancer by the age of 4” kind of way.
What? Oh, so now I’m a horrible person because I think a smoking 2-year-old is comical? Whatever. I may be a horrible person, but that’s not why. I’ve never given a kid a cigarette, and I’m not one of the grown-ups in the video hanging around the kid’s house so I can shoot footage of him blowing smoke rings instead of taking the cigarettes away from him. I’m just a guy who knows funny when he sees it. Read More
OK, I know you’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: If you are on a prescription anti-depression medication, do not stop taking it. I can’t possibly stress this enough.
First of all, if you go off your meds, you could end up right back in the depressed state that prompted you to seek pharmaceutical help to begin with. This is so obvious it pains me to have to remind you of it, but I’m willing to suffer for your mental health.
More importantly, though, by ceasing to take your pills you could end up doing something of questionable judgment that you might ultimately regret. Read More
We here at I’m With Stupid have decided to do something a little different this week and indulge our inner critic, so we’re going to review a concert we saw recently: George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic at the annual Snowmass Chili Pepper and Brew Fest. We’re also going to drop the whole “we” thing at this point because, well, there is no we. It’s actually just me. I know you’re all shocked that one man could do so much by himself.
Anyway, back to P-Funk. You would be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of Parliament/Funkadelic than yours truly. I was splanked by the bop gun years ago, freeing my mind and behind from constipated notions. (That actually makes sense in P-Funk parlance. Look it up if you don’t understand.) Read More
I’m not a single guy anymore — very happily, I should add — but if I were, I know where I’d be going on vacation next year: Riga.
That’s right. Riga, the so-called City of Inspiration, Latvia’s stunning capital city at the mouth of the world-famous Daugava River. Renowned for its culture, with a downtown center so historic it was declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site, Riga is one of the most important financial centers and seaports in the entire Baltic region.
But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what Riga Tourism had to say about the fair city: “Welcome to Riga! The attractiveness of the city is difficult to resist! Read More
I’m not sure how women feel about this subject, but there are few words that strike as much fear into the hearts of men as “catheter,” a word that by itself is enough to make even the toughest male squirm. (On the off chance that you don’t know what a catheter is, imagine a long rubber tube designed to remove urine being inserted into the little hole in your … yeah, that’s a catheter. Squirming yet?)
Actually, I suppose just bringing up catheters in casual conversation won’t make all guys uncomfortable. You could do a test. Mention catheters to a group of men. Read More
Before I launch into this week’s tirade — because, trust me, that’s what this will be — I would like to point out that I have plenty of friends who smoke, and many of them are even considerate enough to dispose of their cigarette butts in trash cans. I know from watching other smokers fail to do this that it requires a Herculean effort, so I want to applaud my friends who go to such great lengths.
And to those smokers who feel that dropping cigarette butts on the ground is OK, I’d like to ask you a few questions: Read More