So you think you’ve been hit hard by the global recession, eh? Two years ago you lived in a 20,000-square-foot mansion, but the bank foreclosed on you, and now you’re sharing a trailer with a family of toothless rednecks? Well, boo-friggin’-hoo. Cry me a river, Alice. You have no idea how good you’ve got it.
Still, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for you, so, in an effort to cheer you up about the fact that your living situation has gone down the toilet, I’m going to point out to you how much worse things could be. It’ll be a little like one of my favorite childhood books: Dr. Seuss’s “Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?” Read More »
As a decent, patriotic American, you are no doubt aware that in December 2008 an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at then-President George W. Bush while Bush was giving a press conference in Baghdad. Like me, I’m sure you were outraged by the journalist’s attack, which is considered a great insult in Muslim nations.
And perhaps you’ve heard that the very next month, on Bush’s last day in office, roughly 100 people stood on Pennsylvania Avenue and gave the outgoing president an Iraqi-style sendoff by lobbing their shoes in the direction of the White House, to the cheers of passers-by and even a handful of security guards. Read More »
As a sports fan, one of the things that has always appealed to me the most about the games we play is the unifying nature of team sports. Seeing athletes of different nationalities and fans from all walks of life coming together as one to achieve a common goal is the sort of thing that warms the cockles of my heart.
There’s nothing better, in my opinion, than watching a Japanese pitcher make a Puerto Rican batter hit a grounder to a Venezuelan third baseman, Read More »
Once, back when I was in high school, circa 1987 or so, I went over to a friend’s house and happened to see a pile of mail on the kitchen counter. On top of the pile was an invitation, addressed to his dad, to the Klingon Language Institute’s annual convention. That’s right: the Klingon Language Institute, as in Klingons from the TV show “Star Trek.” I’ll let that sink in for a bit before going on.
Now, I was never much of a Trekkie. In fact, I found the original “Star Trek” pretty boring and never bothered to watch any of the five other Star Trek series that followed it. Read More »
Given the sorry state of the world we live in today and the numerous challenges we face — global warming, sustainable energy, hunger, disease, poverty — you might think that scientists have plenty of important subjects to occupy their time. You would be wrong.
Actually, let me quantify that statement. You wouldn’t be wrong so much as slightly deluded. I’m sure that there are some scientists who are working on solving the world’s big problems, but I’m equally sure that there are also many scientists who have way too much time on their hands. Read More »
With 2009 finally behind us, I thought this would be a good time to sit back and reflect on some of the notable events and landmarks of the past year. Now, I know many of you probably assume I’m going to talk about such mundane things as the U.S. inaugurating its first black president, or the passing of such American icons as Ted Kennedy and Michael Jackson, but fear not; I shan’t bore you with such tedious trivia. I have bigger fish to fry. Read More »
‘Twas the night before Christmas in the U.S. of A.
And no one had presents ’cause no one could pay.
The stockings were hung despite holes in their sole,
And with gas so expensive we all prayed for coal.
The children were nestled in rough burlap sacks
Since their beds had been sold to pay off our tax, Read More »
Back in the fall of 1995, I visited Costa Rica with a friend of mine, and one of the first things we did was take a hike through the rain forest in a beautiful national park encompassing a small range of active volcanoes. While crossing a stream in the forest we heard a low-pitched sound so loud and disturbing my first thought was that it must have been a rhinoceros in the throes of death or, possibly, the throes of passion.
Obviously, I know there are no wild rhinos in Costa Rica or anywhere else in the Western Hemisphere, but the sound was so bizarre and terrifying I could think of no other animal capable of producing it. Read More »
Here’s an interesting hypothetical question: If someone went on a hunger strike in India, where roughly 27 percent of the world’s undernourished population lives, how would anyone know?
The reason I ask is because K Chandrasekara Rao, a politician in the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, has been on a hunger strike for 13 days now and shows no signs of letting up. Presumably, most of the people Rao represents would probably consider 13 days without food a typical fortnight, but we should not let that detract at all from the urgency of his protest. Read More »
As a so-called Gen-Xer, I have been bored with the myths of the Baby Boom generation for so many years I have lost count. This is not to discount them, but they don’t belong to me and other people my age. Just as I was not in Philadelphia when Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a storm and shocked himself with a key, I didn’t see The Who at Woodstock, and I wasn’t in Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. Those events have no meaning for me other than as historical footnotes.
Who really shot JFK? I don’t know, and neither do you. James Dean? Still never seen one of his movies. Vietnam? Yeah, it was a bad war. Most wars are bad. Read More »